June 8, 2010


The theme on my heart this week is surrender...

I watched my Stephen surrender to the nurse yesterday to get his "big boy shots". Last week I watched my Micah get an IV and lay on a table and survive a 2 hour MRI exam (If you've never experienced that... WOW that machine is loud!).

I am struck by the difference between the two appointments. Of course the 4 year old struggled more than the 12 year old did... But they both had to choose to surrender. A few years back I had my oldest at a doctors appointment where he had to have an ingrown toenail worked on. He looked me square in the eye and said , "No. The doctor will NOT touch me."
Long story short, with the doctor in complete agreement The procedure was done. (Of course it took me and 4 nurses to hold him down, but it did get done).

I know the Lord knows whats best for me. He knows what things will mold me the quickest and with the least pain. The funny thing is that I have the ability to make the lessons harder then He ever intended to be.
Like that day I had to hold my son down for a "simple" procedure, I can make a mountain out of a mole hill... The Lord will still get HIS way. He knows what the end of the story is.

Don't get me wrong. No one likes to be in pain, especially me. I do not believe God wants us to hurt.
I think He looks at the things that cause us pain like I look at the shots my children must receive.
"I know this will hurt for a time, but in the end it will make you stronger..."

When my Micah has major surgery, it is excruciating as a mom to sit by his side. He is in too much pain, he goes down to basic body functions, all he can do is whimper. I hate these times... and yet... it has been in those times that I have seen the hand of God work miracles. Something unexplainable happens when your life is stripped to the bare bones. The unimportant things fade away and only the eternal things matter. It;s confusing to be in pain but to be thankful in the same moment...

Surrender. I wonder why this is what's on my heart this week. Like I have said before, I can be tempted to over think things, so I won't. Today I surrender once again. I pray that whenever I face pain, or sit with someone who does that I will not struggle against it. I pray I will surrender...


  1. Oh amen sister... hard truth, but truth none the less... and HE is faithful, who makes beauty from ashes. May HE transform every little pain (and big ones to) into glory... we know and believe that HE will... for HE can and has promised to do so.. Surrender it is a good topic, Lord help us, we fight it so, and yet there is blessing in trusting you to this end... I love you Bekki...

  2. Thank you Jeanne!
    love you too...