June 15, 2010

"I'm Fine, How are you?"

When I ask you, "How are you today?" Do you feel yourself want to share "Oh, I am fine, How are you?"
Maybe your answer is "good", but rarely will someone tell me... "I am struggling with..."

How is it that I have become so self-absorbed in my own life, that those I care about do not feel that they can begin with the truth...

Instead of sharing that they are scared, overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, excited, happy, or thankful they smile and say, "Fine, how are you..."

This is not OK with me. I want more from my relationships. I want people to know that they can let their "hair down" and be real without fear of being judged by me. The opposite is true as well... I want to be truthful with those who may ask me the same question. If its true for me, its true for someone else:
There are only a few people in my life that when we ask each other how we are we jump right in.
The next sentence will begin with a laugh if we are great, or tears if we are not. We are raw and we feel safe.

Now, you and I both know that people are mean and unforgiving. They are judgemental and can be down right hurtful. How do I know, because I can be myself. I definitely have those people that I will always be "fine" with, and I am OK with that. My heart is not safe in their hands. What I am thinking about today are those people who are dear to me; My husband, my children, my family, and my true friends. I ask myself if I were to ask you out of the blue how you were today, would you dare to start right in the middle of the truth of this moment, or would you hold back and start with a "fine" and test the waters to see if your heart is safe with me... I pray that you would always start where you really are.

If you ask me how I am and I respond "fine" you'll know I am either hiding something or too distracted o have heard your question. Ask me again... I am never FINE. I believe you are never Fine.

I may be excited, elated, frustrated, confused, thankful, content, or even scared... but never FINE. Fine says, "Don't ask me about my life" where as the words in color say, "This is how I am, ask me why..."

So I ask you... How are you today?

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