January 17, 2013

Building Permits for Marriage

"A wise woman builds her house..." Proverbs14:1

If I were going to buy a plot of land and build a new home, one of the first things I would need to do is obtain  a building permit. That's right. Owning the land is not enough to legally build my dream home, I would need to get permission to build the kind of home I desire.

Now, I have never built a home. Quite honestly the process scares me to death because of my lack of conviction in the decision making arena. I hate shopping and do not have a unique and creative eye for decorating, therefore the thought of all those choices makes me want to run away quickly.

I hear I am not alone in this.
Obtaining permits can be not only the least enjoyable stage of building, but also one of the more frustrating. My web dictionary says that this permit is a document that authorizes the holder to construct a building of a particular kind on a particular lot. Yuck. Who wants to ask permission and get authorization?

Permits take time and money. The problem is that if you cut this corner, in the end you can be up for some pretty big heartaches and fines.

I just love this spiritual parallel...

In America, the majority of people skip over this phase in building a home. We are bombarded with the messages that we are in control of our own destinies and that we do not need to ask permission to do anything.

Seek permission to get married? Are you kidding?

This is about as anti-American-culture as you can get.

Now, before I go any deeper let me say that I am writing this to women who are either are or not married. This message is more of a self note to myself, and I welcome other women to come along with me. I am assuming that you want to be that "wise woman who builds her house, not the fool who tears it down" Me too.

I think the reason most unmarried gals skip this step is fear. They do not want to be alone, and so they are quick to settle for one of the first men who shows interest in them. They are afraid to ask God, "Is this the man You have chosen for me?" The enemy of your soul loves fear. He can corner you into making unwise choices when you are staring at fear.

The way to navigate this stage of building your home is wrapped into one word: Ask.

Did you know the Bible speaks of Asking over 200 times? 200! A quick search of scripture reveals that God wants you to ask. He's waiting for you to ask.

Ask What? Well I guess it depends on where you are today. Are you married yet or not?

Before you marry:
  • Am I ready to marry?
  • Am I content in my current state? (You will not become content through marriage. Fact.)
  • Am I the kind of woman ready to complete my future groom, or am I seeking a groom to complete me?
  • Lord, is he the one? (Because it would be eternally better to be alone rather than to pick someone for myself instead of waiting for You)
There are countless questions you could and should ask, these are just a few

But what if you are already married? Ah, like me you have an endless supply of things that you can ask the Lord about. This is a good thing. You can be assured that He is waiting to hear from you and answer you.

After Marriage:
  • Am I a godly wife?
  • Do I seek God with all my heart?
  • Am I a wise woman who builds, or a fool who destroys?
  • Is there any wickedness in my heart? (There always is...)
  • Do I have my priorities straight? (God, husband, children, ministry)
Again, there are thousands of things to ask. God wants us to rely on Him alone. He cares about the minute details of our lives and actually knows the best for us. We need to ask Him to show us.

I have picked out a few verses for you on asking. There are so many more. I would encourage you to do your own study and see God's heart for yourself.

Side Note:
If you made it this far, but you do not know with all certainty that there is a God and He loves you so much that He died to save you, I would say either you are searching for truth or really bored. I pray you are on the search for truth.
If you do not know Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose again to save you, there is only one question He wants you to ask today...

Jesus, Will you come into my life and take over? 
Sure, there are other ways to ask, just ask.

Is God real? Does He love you? Did He really come to this earth to die for your sins? If you believe in Him will you be saved from hell? Will your life be different if you let God in?

I challenge you to ask Him...

Now. Grab your Bible and a notebook and pencil. Here are just a few verses about "asking" God. Whether you are a single woman waiting for your future groom, or a married woman its time to revisit this part of your life. Do you walk through your day without paying to attention to the Lord, or do you include Him in all parts of your life.

A wise woman build her house... She asks guidance and assistance and yes permission from the Lord for everything she does.

Isaiah 7:11
Matthew 21:22
Luke 11:9
John 11:22
John 14:14
John 16:23
Ephesians 3:20
James 1:5-6
Matthew 7:7-8

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