February 17, 2010

What was I thinking??

When I created this blog site a few weeks ago, it was with sincere hopes I'd be able to add to it alot more often. I haven't seemed to manage to sit and write... but this thought is overwhelming.

My grandma entered eternity a few short days ago. I called her "grandma", but she was really my husband's grandma. I simply took possession of her the moment I met her over 20 years ago. I had never known my own gradparents. They had either passed away when I was little, or they lived their lives very far from mine and I never had that "emotional connection".

Grandma was different. She was the epitome of a grandmother. She was kind, loving, hard working, stern, stubborn, independent, creative, thrifty, simple, a lover of God, a bird watcher, a flower admirer, an advid card player, a teacher...

Grandma had not been doing very well for a while, and yet I am struck by the depth of the pain I feel in my chest now that she is gone. We were not created for spiritual separation from those we love... Just like we are not created to be separate from God.

My Sam is having the most difficult time accepting that his grandma is gone. I created a picture collage for her funeral and he was relieved that he could "still see her". He has been distressed today because I had to send those pictures to Iowa for the actual service.

Funny, through the eyes and grief of my son, I see the reality that we are truly spiritual beings created for fellowship and we were never meant to bear the pain of separation. Praise the Lord that in Him we have the eternal hope that we will never be left behind. I know for today, the pain of Grandma being gone is not worthy to compare to how amazing it will be when we are Praising Jesus together in eternity.

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