Almost

I almost lost my son this weekend. It was a beautiful day. The family was taking our first single trail hike along the Kern River in Central California. It was breathtaking. The river is awe-inspiring and rafters come from all over to wrestle with its white water. There are caution signs along the road leading to the water that remind adventurers to always wear a life vest. The is another sign that marks that just under 300 people have drowned in the fast water. Awe. Fear. Wonder. These are the perfect recipe for our 5 boys to have a grand time hiking along this body of water.
The trail was unlike any I have hiked along so far. Narrow, covered in shale and stones to make footing "challenging" and always along some sort of drop off. The "cliffs" were no less than 2 feet and in some places as high as 20. I found myself constantly grabbing at our youngest to make sure he stayed safe.
Half way through the hike we descended to the waters edge to rest a few minutes before heading back. Our boys were delighted. The older boys learned to skip stones, or sat quietly while the youngest 2 stood upon rocks while throwing stones across the water. I kept thinking, someone is going to slip...
Sure enough, just after I moved closer to them our 6 year old lost his footing. Plop. There he was screaming in the freezing water grasping for the shoreline rocks. I simply reached in and pulled him from the freezing water. He was fine, just stunned, soaked, and shivering cold. We assured him he was ok...
I have reflected about this a lot. This river claims lives every year. It is swift and powerful. Where Sam slipped the current was strong and deeper than he knew. He was weighted down by a backpack and all his clothing. He is not strong swimmer. The water was freezing. I could have ignored the prompting I felt that caused me to come and sit on the rock right next to the boys as they played. He could have been gone in a spilt second.
I almost lost my son. Almost. If it were not for the grace of God, today would be a very different day. Just under 300 other people have visited the same river and had their lives transformed forever.
I am thankful that mine ended as an "Almost" so I can better appreciate today...

A Stone in a Bubbling Brook

Deep waters are cold and murky. They can be mysterious and even dangerous. So too can my thoughts and words be if I take myself too seriously. The more I talk, the deeper I go. My own wisdom can be murky and dangerous, even misleading. I am a woman who struggles with "deep thought" especially concerning spiritual things. I have no problem over-complicating life. I speak in pictures and stories, and can create "whoppers" without much effort...

I have much to learn from the flowing gentle brook.

Imagine a cool stream flowing quietly through a green wooded area. There are smooth stones in the water, causing it to splash and make that soothing sound that some people download onto their "white noise machines".
There is peace here.

I am like one of those stones in the stream, the water that flows around me encircles and refreshes me. I find rest here comforted by the soothing current as it rushes past me. The funny thing is that I am completely unaware that I am being refined and reshaped by the same water I rest in.

Every so often, a thirsty soul wanders to the stream. They step on me to get closer to the life giving water. At times, they may even sit and soak in the beautiful water...

As the thirsty soul is refreshed and renewed I too am completely surrounded by the water... Depending on my hearts condition I will either be refreshed or completely distracted by the weight of the one who stepped on me...

I am completely and constantly surrounded by the Lord. The Holy Spirit ministers to my soul. I find peace and rest in His presence. He comforts me, leads me, refines me.
Every now and again He will lead someone to cross paths with my life. They need something: a listening ear, a comforting word, a hug, a challenge...

He wants me to point them to Himself. They may step on me (rub me the wrong way, consume my time, offend me, or take advantage of me) or they may even sit in my life's path because they are too weak to take another step.

I am a living stone, planted in the Lords stream. I am nothing. Just a stone. When my heart is self centered All I feel is the weight of the one who used my life to get closer to God. I complain that they have stepped on me, I may even say something dumb like "if they don't move I will drown..."

When I take my eyes off myself, I remain almost completely unaware of the presence of the other... I am much too captivated by the life giving water that surrounds me... God is Good! I pray my heart is always so filled with Him, that I am unaware of the lives of the people around me being impacted by my life for the good. As I rest in Him, I pray those who cross my life’s path will find me willing to be rested upon so that they might be closer to Him.
I am just a stone. I am nothing. But I am filled to overflowing because of where my hope rests...



"The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook." Proverbs 18:4
"You also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual House. " 1 Peter 2:5

What was I thinking??

When I created this blog site a few weeks ago, it was with sincere hopes I'd be able to add to it alot more often. I haven't seemed to manage to sit and write... but this thought is overwhelming.

My grandma entered eternity a few short days ago. I called her "grandma", but she was really my husband's grandma. I simply took possession of her the moment I met her over 20 years ago. I had never known my own gradparents. They had either passed away when I was little, or they lived their lives very far from mine and I never had that "emotional connection".

Grandma was different. She was the epitome of a grandmother. She was kind, loving, hard working, stern, stubborn, independent, creative, thrifty, simple, a lover of God, a bird watcher, a flower admirer, an advid card player, a teacher...


Grandma had not been doing very well for a while, and yet I am struck by the depth of the pain I feel in my chest now that she is gone. We were not created for spiritual separation from those we love... Just like we are not created to be separate from God.

My Sam is having the most difficult time accepting that his grandma is gone. I created a picture collage for her funeral and he was relieved that he could "still see her". He has been distressed today because I had to send those pictures to Iowa for the actual service.

Funny, through the eyes and grief of my son, I see the reality that we are truly spiritual beings created for fellowship and we were never meant to bear the pain of separation. Praise the Lord that in Him we have the eternal hope that we will never be left behind. I know for today, the pain of Grandma being gone is not worthy to compare to how amazing it will be when we are Praising Jesus together in eternity.

Let the Journey Begin...

If I ask simple questions of my favorite people and then sit silently with an interested expression on my face, simple yes no responses eventually turn into heart felt amazing conversations where they will let me into that secret place deep within their heart. You know that place where only those who have special "backstage passes" are allowed. Where dreams are alive, fears are challenged, hopes are expressed, and relationships flourish. Without this backstage pass, we get to visit our loved one from the crowded concert hall- only experiencing what they present professionally. Oh, the show can be fantastic and we may give standing ovations... but we have no idea what we have missed. I adore my husband. I want more than to be his fan in the center row of his show. I want to share the bus rides, find the napkin so he can jot down the lyrics to the tune that popped into his head, share the joy of an amazing life tour, rub his shoulders after a long day. I want an all access pass to his life, hopes, and dreams.

disclosure policy

Disclosure Policy

Disclosure ~

This blog is a site written and edited by me, Bekki Sayler. I am a lover of Jesus, blessed wife and homeschooling mama of 5 amazing boys.

A Penny for Your Thoughts was born in 2007 when I felt led by the Lord to write down my thoughts and encourage others. While I also blog and write about homeschooling, this blog is my first born.

The Lord continues to remind me that I write because He wants me to write.

My vision for A Penny for Your Thought is to stir up other women to seek first the kingdom of God.

 

 While my business site, A Better Way to Homeschool, is an actual business site, this site is more of a ministry and an outpouring of my love for Jesus. Earning a profit is not my focus, but rather encouraging you. The reality is that as this site continues to grow, so do my expenses.

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