When I ask you, "How are you today?" Do you feel yourself want to share "Oh, I am fine, How are you?"
Maybe your answer is "good", but rarely will someone tell me... "I am struggling with..."
How is it that I have become so self-absorbed in my own life, that those I care about do not feel that they can begin with the truth...
Instead of sharing that they are scared, overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, excited, happy, or thankful they smile and say, "Fine, how are you..."
This is not OK with me. I want more from my relationships. I want people to know that they can let their "hair down" and be real without fear of being judged by me. The opposite is true as well... I want to be truthful with those who may ask me the same question. If its true for me, its true for someone else:
There are only a few people in my life that when we ask each other how we are we jump right in.
The next sentence will begin with a laugh if we are great, or tears if we are not. We are raw and we feel safe.
Now, you and I both know that people are mean and unforgiving. They are judgemental and can be down right hurtful. How do I know, because I can be myself. I definitely have those people that I will always be "fine" with, and I am OK with that. My heart is not safe in their hands. What I am thinking about today are those people who are dear to me; My husband, my children, my family, and my true friends. I ask myself if I were to ask you out of the blue how you were today, would you dare to start right in the middle of the truth of this moment, or would you hold back and start with a "fine" and test the waters to see if your heart is safe with me... I pray that you would always start where you really are.
If you ask me how I am and I respond "fine" you'll know I am either hiding something or too distracted o have heard your question. Ask me again... I am never FINE. I believe you are never Fine.
I may be excited, elated, frustrated, confused, thankful, content, or even scared... but never FINE. Fine says, "Don't ask me about my life" where as the words in color say, "This is how I am, ask me why..."
So I ask you... How are you today?
June 15, 2010
June 14, 2010
Backstage and All Access Pass
If I ask simple questions of my favorite people and then sit silently with an interested expression on my face, simple yes no responses eventually turn into heart felt amazing conversations where they will let me into that secret place deep within their heart. You know that place where only those who have special "backstage passes" are allowed. Where dreams are alive, fears are challenged, hopes are expressed, and relationships flourish. Without this backstage pass, we get to visit our loved one from the crowded concert hall- only experiencing what they present professionally. Oh, the show can be fantastic and we may give standing ovations... but we have no idea what we have missed. I adore my people. I want more than to be their fan in the center row of their life's show. I want to share the bus rides, find the napkin so they can jot down the lyrics to the tune that popped into their head, share the joy of an amazing life tour. I want an all access pass to their life, hopes, and dreams.
Have you ever been to a concert that made a lifelong impression on you?
You spend the extra money to get center stage seats and even save up and splurge for the "backstage" pass.
As you watch the show you are mesmerized. From where you sit you can touch the performers hands, see the expression on their face, feel the emotion of the songs they sing. The lights are blinding, the smoke magical, the experience priceless. As the band plays their last encore, your heart begins to pound... you know you are moments form going backstage. In a few moments you will be "hanging out" with the band.
My husband, children, family, and friends are rock stars to me.
At some point people chose who they perform for and who they live life with. People consciously (and sometimes unconsciously) chose to allow me to access backstage, or they smile and give me the best seats in the house. I do not know about you, but I would rather be backstage.
A back stage pass is good... but I want the "all access pass". I want to be part of the tour not just the show.
I want to stand and watch the show from the curtain at the side of "stage right".
I want to be the first to congratulate them on a job well done, or be the one they sit and cry with when life's tour doesn't go as planned.
This all-access pass comes only by up front investment. My time. Listening. Caring. Encouraging.
Oh sure, I can chose to simply buy the ticket to the show. I'll enjoy the; graduations, engagements, weddings, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and the like.
I will enjoy this show- but it will never be all it should be. When I am permitted to share in the behind the scenes, We enjoy the show together... That's what I want.
There aren't enough holidays, birthdays, children, weddings, and celebrations to share with those who I love and adore. Plus, if I can be honest, concerts and life are really loud and "in your face" and you only get to see what is staged. Nope, I'd rather spend the time to earn the privilege to be handed the all-access backstage pass... How about you?
Have you ever been to a concert that made a lifelong impression on you?
You spend the extra money to get center stage seats and even save up and splurge for the "backstage" pass.
As you watch the show you are mesmerized. From where you sit you can touch the performers hands, see the expression on their face, feel the emotion of the songs they sing. The lights are blinding, the smoke magical, the experience priceless. As the band plays their last encore, your heart begins to pound... you know you are moments form going backstage. In a few moments you will be "hanging out" with the band.
My husband, children, family, and friends are rock stars to me.
At some point people chose who they perform for and who they live life with. People consciously (and sometimes unconsciously) chose to allow me to access backstage, or they smile and give me the best seats in the house. I do not know about you, but I would rather be backstage.
A back stage pass is good... but I want the "all access pass". I want to be part of the tour not just the show.
I want to stand and watch the show from the curtain at the side of "stage right".
I want to be the first to congratulate them on a job well done, or be the one they sit and cry with when life's tour doesn't go as planned.
This all-access pass comes only by up front investment. My time. Listening. Caring. Encouraging.
Oh sure, I can chose to simply buy the ticket to the show. I'll enjoy the; graduations, engagements, weddings, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and the like.
I will enjoy this show- but it will never be all it should be. When I am permitted to share in the behind the scenes, We enjoy the show together... That's what I want.
There aren't enough holidays, birthdays, children, weddings, and celebrations to share with those who I love and adore. Plus, if I can be honest, concerts and life are really loud and "in your face" and you only get to see what is staged. Nope, I'd rather spend the time to earn the privilege to be handed the all-access backstage pass... How about you?
June 10, 2010
Oh ye of Little Faith
Remember the story about Peter and Jesus?
You know, there was a storm raging and the disciples see Someone walking out to the boat.
They all think its a ghost at first, and then Peter thinks he recognizes the Lord.
"Lord if its You, command me to walk on the water to you..."
Jesus says, "Come."
Peter instantly jumps out of the boat and begins walking through the storm to meet the Lord.
I love this. I love that there is no hesitation on Peter's part to jump right in. Wet. Cold. Scary. No problem... "The Lord is over there," so that's where he wanted to be...
The only problem was that in the storm, Peter lost sight of Jesus.
The waves caught his attention and caused him to look away.
We know what happened next, Peter got scared and began to sink.
He cried out to Jesus to save him, and of course the Lord did.
The cool part is that after they were back on the boat Jesus calmed the storm completely.
I sometimes feel guilty that I can related to Peter so well.
I am more than willing to jump right in and follow after Jesus, no matter the circumstances, but at times I waiver in my faith that it was a good idea...
I mean really...
Who in their right mind jumps out of a boat into a raging sea?
I can find my self focusing more on the water and waves than on the One who is there with me in the midst of it all.
Funny as life keeps on keeping on I continue to jump out of the boat and run toward Jesus.
I still struggle at times and find myself sinking in the water because I looked at the storm instead of the Saviour.
Praise the Lord and thanks be to God that His Mercy never ends!
He never waivers. He walks me through everything, picks me up when I fall, lifts me when I sink, and gets me to the boat. Then He smiles at me, raises His hands and calms the storm...
"Oh yea. You are God. You are in control." I remember.
Like I said, sometime I feel guilty that I can relate to Peter.
That is until a friend shared, "At least Peter got out of the boat!"
(sigh)
At least I get out of the boat...
You know, there was a storm raging and the disciples see Someone walking out to the boat.
They all think its a ghost at first, and then Peter thinks he recognizes the Lord.
"Lord if its You, command me to walk on the water to you..."
Jesus says, "Come."
Peter instantly jumps out of the boat and begins walking through the storm to meet the Lord.
I love this. I love that there is no hesitation on Peter's part to jump right in. Wet. Cold. Scary. No problem... "The Lord is over there," so that's where he wanted to be...
The only problem was that in the storm, Peter lost sight of Jesus.
The waves caught his attention and caused him to look away.
We know what happened next, Peter got scared and began to sink.
He cried out to Jesus to save him, and of course the Lord did.
The cool part is that after they were back on the boat Jesus calmed the storm completely.
I sometimes feel guilty that I can related to Peter so well.
I am more than willing to jump right in and follow after Jesus, no matter the circumstances, but at times I waiver in my faith that it was a good idea...
I mean really...
Who in their right mind jumps out of a boat into a raging sea?
I can find my self focusing more on the water and waves than on the One who is there with me in the midst of it all.
Funny as life keeps on keeping on I continue to jump out of the boat and run toward Jesus.
I still struggle at times and find myself sinking in the water because I looked at the storm instead of the Saviour.
Praise the Lord and thanks be to God that His Mercy never ends!
He never waivers. He walks me through everything, picks me up when I fall, lifts me when I sink, and gets me to the boat. Then He smiles at me, raises His hands and calms the storm...
"Oh yea. You are God. You are in control." I remember.
Like I said, sometime I feel guilty that I can relate to Peter.
That is until a friend shared, "At least Peter got out of the boat!"
(sigh)
At least I get out of the boat...
June 9, 2010
Sweet, Sweet Surrender
Sweet, Sweet Surrender (click to listen)
Words and music by John Denver
Lost and alone on some forgotten highway
Travelled by many remembered by few
Lookin' for something that I can believe in
Lookin' for something that I'd like to do with my life
There's nothin' behind me and nothin' that ties me
To somethin' that might have been true yesterday
Tomorrow is open and right now it seems to be more
Than enough to just be there today
And I don't know what the future is holdin' in store
I don't know where I'm goin', I'm not sure where I've been
There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the livin', I don't need to see the end
Sweet, sweet surrender
Live, live without care
Like a fish in the water
Like a bird in the air
Interpretation by Bekki
When I look around at my life I feel alone.
It seems I am on a road heading no-where and there is not another soul to be seen.
Many people have gone down this same road, yet most do not remember it
As I travel I search desperately for something I can believe in
What the heck am I supposed to do with my life?
yesterday holds no power over me,
Tomorrow is wide open and the truth is
that nothing is more real than where I am right now.
I can only live for today.
I have no idea what the future holds in store for me
I have no idea where life will take me, heck, I am not even sure of where I have been before now...
I hold fast to the Lord who guides me by His spirit and light
I open my heart and my life...
Even though I have no idea where I will end up,
My life is worth living.
If God truly is leading me, I do not need to see the end...
So I pray I will surrender with confidence
and that the surrender will be sweet
I pray I will Live, live without care of where God leads me, trusting He will be with me always
I will go where I am lead...
June 8, 2010
Surrender
The theme on my heart this week is surrender...
I watched my Stephen surrender to the nurse yesterday to get his "big boy shots". Last week I watched my Micah get an IV and lay on a table and survive a 2 hour MRI exam (If you've never experienced that... WOW that machine is loud!).
I am struck by the difference between the two appointments. Of course the 4 year old struggled more than the 12 year old did... But they both had to choose to surrender. A few years back I had my oldest at a doctors appointment where he had to have an ingrown toenail worked on. He looked me square in the eye and said , "No. The doctor will NOT touch me."
Long story short, with the doctor in complete agreement The procedure was done. (Of course it took me and 4 nurses to hold him down, but it did get done).
I know the Lord knows whats best for me. He knows what things will mold me the quickest and with the least pain. The funny thing is that I have the ability to make the lessons harder then He ever intended to be.
Like that day I had to hold my son down for a "simple" procedure, I can make a mountain out of a mole hill... The Lord will still get HIS way. He knows what the end of the story is.
Don't get me wrong. No one likes to be in pain, especially me. I do not believe God wants us to hurt.
I think He looks at the things that cause us pain like I look at the shots my children must receive.
"I know this will hurt for a time, but in the end it will make you stronger..."
When my Micah has major surgery, it is excruciating as a mom to sit by his side. He is in too much pain, he goes down to basic body functions, all he can do is whimper. I hate these times... and yet... it has been in those times that I have seen the hand of God work miracles. Something unexplainable happens when your life is stripped to the bare bones. The unimportant things fade away and only the eternal things matter. It;s confusing to be in pain but to be thankful in the same moment...
Surrender. I wonder why this is what's on my heart this week. Like I have said before, I can be tempted to over think things, so I won't. Today I surrender once again. I pray that whenever I face pain, or sit with someone who does that I will not struggle against it. I pray I will surrender...
I watched my Stephen surrender to the nurse yesterday to get his "big boy shots". Last week I watched my Micah get an IV and lay on a table and survive a 2 hour MRI exam (If you've never experienced that... WOW that machine is loud!).
I am struck by the difference between the two appointments. Of course the 4 year old struggled more than the 12 year old did... But they both had to choose to surrender. A few years back I had my oldest at a doctors appointment where he had to have an ingrown toenail worked on. He looked me square in the eye and said , "No. The doctor will NOT touch me."
Long story short, with the doctor in complete agreement The procedure was done. (Of course it took me and 4 nurses to hold him down, but it did get done).
I know the Lord knows whats best for me. He knows what things will mold me the quickest and with the least pain. The funny thing is that I have the ability to make the lessons harder then He ever intended to be.
Like that day I had to hold my son down for a "simple" procedure, I can make a mountain out of a mole hill... The Lord will still get HIS way. He knows what the end of the story is.
Don't get me wrong. No one likes to be in pain, especially me. I do not believe God wants us to hurt.
I think He looks at the things that cause us pain like I look at the shots my children must receive.
"I know this will hurt for a time, but in the end it will make you stronger..."
When my Micah has major surgery, it is excruciating as a mom to sit by his side. He is in too much pain, he goes down to basic body functions, all he can do is whimper. I hate these times... and yet... it has been in those times that I have seen the hand of God work miracles. Something unexplainable happens when your life is stripped to the bare bones. The unimportant things fade away and only the eternal things matter. It;s confusing to be in pain but to be thankful in the same moment...
Surrender. I wonder why this is what's on my heart this week. Like I have said before, I can be tempted to over think things, so I won't. Today I surrender once again. I pray that whenever I face pain, or sit with someone who does that I will not struggle against it. I pray I will surrender...
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